I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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