Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
