another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
