I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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