Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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