This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
