that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
