There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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