it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
