i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
