(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
