dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
