I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
