I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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