You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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