quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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