Christians are straight up FREAKS
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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