im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
