That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
