So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
