we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
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I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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