i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is my gift to your gina
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
