Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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