the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
