goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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