Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
