I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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