Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
