After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
