I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
