it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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