i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
