I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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