Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize