omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
