there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
