So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
