How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
