If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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