Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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