road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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