Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize