Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
