See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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