Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
