A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
