I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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