i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
