So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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