a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
