so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
