Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize