ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
