So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
