i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
