i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
