3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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