i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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