i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
