We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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