we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
