I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
