...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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