My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
