i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
