I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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