WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
