That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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