not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
