you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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