Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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