I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
