i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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